BDSM vs Abuse

Afternoon all, 

I felt the need to write this post not only as a domestic abuse survivor (some of you know my story) but as a woman who likes to read and write steamy books!

With all the hype over a movie release social media has gone crazy with saying BDSM is abuse.

In my opinion, that statement is one-hundred percent false.

I've read all three books and I have seen the movie! I have to say I enjoyed them all!

Let's start with what BDSM stand for: (urban dictionary)

An overlapping abbrevation of Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM).

Acronym: Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism & Masochism.

A physical, psychological and usually sexual power-role-play with consensual participants.

Etyminology: American websites in the 1990's.
- Being tied to your bed during intercourse is a BDSM activity.
- The participant used the codeword and the BDSM practitioners stopped immediately.
- Fetishism, Sadomasochism and BDSM is no longer considered a mental illness by the health-departments in Scandinavia.

It comes down to consenting vs non-consenting in my book.

*When two or more CONSENTING adults enter a BDSM relationship (most have an established list of limits also) or scene a safe word is always established for both the Dom and Subs safety. When said word is used all activity stops IMMEDIATELY!

*In an abusive relationship there is no suck thing as a safe word and the victim is NOT consenting. The abuser only stops when they are finished getting out the rage. 

*A dom cares for their sub after a scene in a caring/loving matter, an abuser does not. 

*A sub can walk away at anytime and brake a contract if ones in place, and abused person is scared to death to leave. An abuser may even threaten to kill or harm the victims loved ones/family. 

My reason for writing this post was so we focus back on the big picture people. 

Life is real, fiction is not!

I've had many issues with some YA books/movies because of their violence, but that is just my opinion. Many adore those book and movies and I understand they have the right too without me pushing my belief on them.

Yes, I know it's a free country but sometimes people need to be called out on on what they are saying especially  if it can hurt an entire group of people. 

I'm sure those who live the BDSM lifestyle don't want to be called abusers or victims

And those who have been in a domestic abuse situation don't want it glorified.

 I'm not writing this to change the way other's think but to voice the facts as I see them.

 Food for thought... (I for one love this song and I don't think it's about abuse at all) 

I wonder why all of you that have attacked the opening of Fifty Shades didn't attack Rihanna

  for this song when it released. 

Feels so good being bad

There's no way I'm turning back

Now the pain is my pleasure

Cause nothing could measure

Love is great, love is fine

Out the box, out of line

The affliction of the feeling

Leaves me wanting more

Cause I may be bad

But I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air

I don't care

I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones

May break my bones

But chains and whips

Excite me